I Get It Now! Happiness Is a Dive Off the Golden Gate Bridge into Bunch of Cute Puppies!

Finally I get it. I've been writing blogs all day, and with my kids, I've been talking about how I might be a little behind the times with my references. Really, maybe one of you guys know the figure at the left is Ernie Kovacs as Percy Dovetonsils. This was really funny stuff in the 1950s, but not all that funny now. Besides, if you guys don't know about this, you're not going take the time to learn about it and find it funny.

At work yesterday, I thought I had carte blanche to post on Facebook and Google+ to my heart's content. First thing this morning, I learned I misunderstood. Worse yet, I referenced Burma-Shave signs. Until the 1960s Burma-Shave signs were these signs that were placed along the roadway, maybe 3/4 of a mile apart. Usually, there were six signs, and they gave a little funny poem that ended with Burma-Shave. Here's an example: 

A peach / Looks good / With lots of fuzz / But man's no peach / And never wuz / Burma-Shave.

I loved this stuff when I wuz little. Only one person responded to my Burma-Shave reference, and then, because these two young guys have built the small empire I'm working for, and they want to protect what they've built, I was asked to clear my posts and delete what I had already written, even though they said I didn't post anything detrimental. This is absolutely the right thing for them to do. It's their baby, and they don't know that I'm not some malcontent.

So, while on the subject of "old" dad, Lauren and Brad and I, my daughter and son-in-law, who both work at Google, started talking about "memes." I asked, "When I posted on my own FB page, some lady said, 'I hated driving in the rain today,' and I said, 'I don't have my glasses, why did you have to drive in Iran?' So is this a meme?" Well my wife Lynn groaned and the answer was no. I thought it was pretty good stuff. Real knee-slapping funny. So funny that I've used it more than once. I know I used it on a post to Shelley, and even again, maybe twice more. What a goof-ball, huh?

So the talk about memes led to the kids pulling up an online comic strip/blog called "Hyperbole and a Half" by someone named Allie. This is the most brilliant bit of drawing and blogging I've ever seen. Allie did a blog/comic strip called "Adventures in Depression" that spoke volumes about what it's like to be depressed in a funny, engaging way. I've never even come close to explaining depression so brilliantly. This blog, my blog, even has a subtitle that says, "Putting the fun in dysfunctional" and I've barely written one fun thing, unless suicide, eulogies, child abuse, and my whining counts. Worse yet, Allie writes and draws about dogs. She's so damn funny and knows dogs so well, that I really hate her though I'm sure she looks a cross between Zoe Deschanel and Marlene Dietrich- in that Blue Angel outfit--shit, there I go again. Even when I tried to convince you readers in my Dog Chronicles that the Chinese were putting cats in dog food, and that a dog was brought back to life after being frozen in a pot of chili, not one of you guys either got it or read it., and no one shared it.

So, I think I know what you want now. You don't really want to read about suicide unless some guy jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge into a bunch of cute puppies, or perhaps dogs that say stuff like "poppies suck." Oh, forget it, memes are pretty dumb to any but people who spend their entire day on a computer, like ah... me. Shit again.

You know what? I've still got a lot to learn. I'd like to educate people about depression and causes of depression, but really what the hell do I know about depression except what it feels like. So, like Allie's character in "Adventures in Depression," I say, screw it. Better yet, FFFFFFFFFFFFFF...it or something. I'm sorry I haven't been more engaging here. Sorry I've whined. Ah, the hell with it. Hope you find more reasons to read this.