Are You in There?

There is a taboo in good writing about having a character describe himself or herself as they look into a mirror. It is considered cheating to do so. Even in case of omnipresent narrator, usually that narrator is inside the head of but one character. He is omnipresent within one head, but not in the head of the other characters. So, we do not find our narrator standing at the mirror, describing himself, because it is not natural to do so. There's other reasons against the practice, that is just one of them. One can feel a tear run down one's cheek, he can't see it, or watch it glisten.

So, I look at my reflection in the mirror. Am I inside that person? Hello? Are you in there? Are you in there?

I am terrible at engaging people with whom I speak. It's drives my wife crazy. Sometimes, at the grocery store I will look into someone's eyes just to gauge its effect. Otherwise, I speak to the air, my feet, or the computer screen. What has caused this? Why?

I don't remember actually seeing people as they are, perhaps ever. Can we look and see without making an immediate judgement? Do we only see people with the idea of our interaction with them? Even seeing faces on the television screen, in photographs, or on the computer screen, can we not judge?

Are you guys in there? Behind the eyes, are you there? I recognize your face, even from years and years ago, but do you see that soul that resides behind the eyes or beneath the skin?

One of my Facebook friends has only her eyes as her profile picture. They are beautiful eyes, and we knew each other in high school, and I never saw those eyes, really saw them. I sure as hell never looked behind them.

Are you in there? Have the years stolen you away, or did I ever know you ever? Hello?

Why is it that I know more about these high school people now than I ever knew back then? Was I blind? Am I blind?

Everything we see, hear, or feel goes through a filter. It is measured, weighed, and judged. Can we think without language? That is a question posed sometimes, but can we do any of it without language? Can we feel without language? Plunge a blindfolded man's hands into iced water and if that man trusts you he will feel cold intially. If the same man does not trust you, he may feel you are plunging his hands into the fire and at first, he will believe it is heat, not cold he feels.

I don't understand how I have missed so much beauty. Never have I been a sunset type of person. Sunsets take patience. Do you want to watch the sunset? How long does it take?

I don't remember looking into my childrens' eyes. My wife, yes, I have looked into her eyes. Old girlfriends, no, I never saw them in there.

What's is wrong with me? Hello, are you in there? Have you ever been anywhere else, but in there? Have I ever gotten out of my own head? Can I turn off the filter for just a fucking minute? I'm missing so much. Hello?