My Life Came Without Instructions--Does Anyone Know How to Put It Together?

I know, I am still fighting it. This funk. This chemical imbalance. Fighting the war, against inner demons--a battle I have been waging, like many others, for years!

I wish I could spill it all to you guys about what I have done to fight depression. Let's just say I have been around the block with this thing.

Right now, it is music and writing and a group at Kaiser that keeps me going. The music? Peter Gabriel's Don't Give Up and Sam Cooke's It's Been a Long Time Coming. Writing? I wrote a prayer a few weeks ago. Then there is my book and writing at work.

There is art that I love and find on Google Images. Oh, I read. I am reading some Dicken's now, ghost stories for Christmas, an old English tradition; a history of the Middle Ages; and I just picked up Paradise Lost today.

I get it. I'm depressed. This is kind of funny too. Because I know how wonderful this world is. I get it that people are amazing. I know they create wonderful things, like art, music, books, and even a tool to suck the air out of wine bottles. And I don't generally add to my problems by overdrinking (I seldom drink anymore,) overspending, drugs or betting on sports.

I just hurt. Okay? I don't want to blame it on relatives, relationships, or wearing my underwear too tight. I'm so tired of walking along the edge of a canyon with the possibility that I can slip and spend months in bed listless with no rhyme of reason.

I tell you, I am fighting a battle, a lot of the time. I fight it by surrendering that I feel down. I fight it by talking about it with people who get it. Sometimes FB people are my allies, or my wife, or my kids, or Chris or Leah, or just the sight of my grandkids. I know. There is a lot to live for, so I live. Happy about it? Not always.

As Christmas rolls up on us, a lot of people will be fighting same as I am.

I beg you folks. "Don't give up, you still have friends." Also, it maybe a "long time coming, but a change is gonna come."

The holidays getting you down? Talk to someone. Listen to some music. Read. Or talk to me if you want.You can reach me here, on FB, and once you contact me, I will give you another way to reach me if you want. I promise, I will not try to convince you to do a tandem jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Really.

So, it is not the end of the road that you see, but the beginning from the other side. I know it ain't easy folks. Get some help, call some friends, find a song or a mantra. Believe it will get better... or just believe in yourself to weather the storm.

God bless you all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year if I do not update this before then. And finally thanks for helping out those in need--me included.