Depression is often described as anger turned inwards. We fear letting our anger show, or even admitting it, since we might offend someone. We howl if we hit our thumb with a hammer, we may even punish the hammer by slamming it down, but we fear to acknowledge old hurts.
Being angry--anger well-expressed, can be liberating. It shouldn't rule one's life, but putting the onus of past wrongs where they belong is the beginning of healing.
Richard Thompson, solo artist, and one-time member of Fairport Convention, has a song called Can't Win. It voices rage so artfully and forcefully that I find it liberating just listening to it. I have put it on the car CD player many times now, and it actually makes me happy to hear it as I drive down the highway.
Can't Win
Oh, towers will tumble and locusts will visit the land
Oh, a curse on your house and your children and a fruit of your hand
They said, "You can't win, you can't win
You sweat blood, you give in
You can't win, you can't win
Turn the cheek, take it on the chin"
"And don't you dare do this, don't you dare do that
We shoot down dreams, we stiletto in the back
Oh the nerve of some people, the nerve of some people
The nerve of some people, I don't know who you think you are
Who you think you are"
But I'm not really here to introduce you to Richard Thompson. I'm here speaking as one person who has suffered depression speaking to another person who might ail from the same trouble. It's people helping people. We can wallow in our own troubles without ever accomplishing anything, or we offer what experience has taught us and maybe ease someone's pain.
Experience has taught me to let the anger out. I do it with these blogs and in my fiction. Can we always address the causes of our anger? Not always. Family or spousal wars are not always worth it. But instead of turning the blame inward, cutting it loose into the ether might be the answer. Some anger is righteous. Acknowledge it and move on. It's the first step to recovery.
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